Contributor Bios
Each year, Tattoo Editors write biographies for each of our contributors. They are just for fun and purely fictional, and were not written by the contributors themselves. Enjoy!
Anonymous 1 leads a double life. By day, they are a librarian, reading stories to kids and organizing books by the Dewey Decimal Code. Quite old-school. But, by night, Anonymous 1 travels back in time. That’s right, what a plot twist. They travel back in time to steal copies of books like our very own bibliophile Robin Hood. Thank you for all you do Anonymous 1.
Anonymous 1
Anonymous 2 is a world-champion speed walker. Fiercely competitive, running was never for them; despite the glory of the popular sport, they believed it had little practical application. They trained extensively in the hallways of Shorecrest during passing periods; masterfully cutting through rows of chatting students.They were set to compete in the 2020 championships held on the streets of Manhattan before the pandemic hit, but you can bet they’ll be there next year!
Anonymous 2
Anonymous 3 can talk to plants. Believe it or not, but it’s true. Anonymous 3’s bedroom is simply bursting with greenery. They surround themselves with their little green friends, taking frequent nature walks and hikes. They discovered this mystical talent when they were around three years old, and it’s safe to say that plants have been their best friends since. What do they talk about with them? Well, I guess that that is something only Anonymous 3 and their plants will ever know.
Anyonymous 3
Anonymous 4 has a secret. They can fly. All they have to do is close their eyes and let the wind lift them up. They have made many little bird friends while flying and have even migrated south for the winter with a flock of friendly geese. They had lots of fun down in the tropics but returned because they missed the Great Blue Heron’s company.
Anonymous 4
Annabelle Austin has a photographic memory. She remembers every single second since the moment she was born. In fact, Annabelle’s memory is so good that she can watch different moments of her past at any time, replaying them back like a movie. She has spent many hours scrolling through her memories, picking apart her past. Annabelle doesn’t even watch TV or movies, she just sits back and starts her own private show. Up next: her life.
Annabelle Austin
Emma Baker lives in a snow globe. Her daily routine consists of clearing the snow away from her little gingerbread house and playing snowball-fetch with her miniature schnauzer. The next time you go to a snow globe store, keep a look out for Emma’s magical snow globe home!
Emma Baker
Claire Beaumont can shrink to a size smaller than an atom. Right on command, she morphs into a microscopic organism and walks around and in between atoms. She has found that what they teach you in chemistry class is extremely outdated so don’t be surprised if when she grows up, she wins a couple of Nobel Prizes!
Claire Beaumont
Peter Coleman is a spicy food aficionado. He munches on ghost peppers between class periods like they’re pop tarts, and won’t hesitate to douse even the most unsuitable entrées with copious amounts of hot sauce. If you thought the burn of habanero peppers had no place in porridge, you were wrong. Peter claims that the secret to his indifference is frequent exposure from a young age, but we think he might just have a predisposition to all things spice. Just be sure to think twice if he offers to share his lunch with you.
Peter Coleman
Liam Crouch has a collection of glass bottles. However, this is not just any old bottle collection. Liam has been a hardcore bottle collector for as long as he could remember. He had always had this inexplicable affinity for glass bottles, and over the years his collection slowly grew. Liam now has over two thousand glass bottles! They fill up the shelves and countertops of his home, every square inch littered with glass bottles; he brings at least a couple bottles wherever he goes, you know, just for safekeeping. It’s safe to say that Liam’s hobby has become more of an obsession at this point, but shhh, I didn’t tell you that.
Liam Crouch
Vance Cunningham has once survived exploding out of an erupting volcano, trying to escape from a giant flying humpback whale. No one knows how, but he emerged unscathed from the treacherous lava, surfing a piece of pumice, his long locks flowing behind him in the hot air. Next time you see him, ask him to show you his pumice collection because he believes one day it will save his life again.
Vance Cunningham
Iorek de Luna loves chickens. De Luna’s house is full of so many chickens, that you can’t see the floor...but only at night. The night chickens are a peculiar breed, and de Luna has spent years studying their unique features. In particular, their jet black feathers, yellow eyes, and ability to lay opalescent eggs are quite strange. Oh, and the fact that they simply disappear during the daytime. Just give it a couple of years, and you might just see a book come out entitled, ‘The Night Chickens…’
Iorek de Luna
Isabella Encinosa can drive. Like, NASCAR drive. Currently working on the world record for speed, Encinosa has no time to deal with you, unless “you” involves cinnamon scones and raspberry tea. If there’s one thing that’s better than driving in Encinosa’s opinion, it’s cinnamon scone and raspberry tea. And art, of course.
Isabella Encinosa
Maggie Feinberg wears a magic watch that can conjure up anything she desires. Everyday, right when she gets up in the morning, she makes sure to snap that watch around her wrist so she can use its magical powers. You need a snack during class? Ask the watch. You need a book that is written specifically for your appeal? Ask the watch. You want a watch like this? Maggie is the only one in the world who can harness its powers.
Maggie Feinberg
Lily Fredericks is a world-class tight-roper. She doesn’t like to flex it, but she’s been on multiple circus world tours to show off her crazy talents (not quite as good as her artistic abilities, however). If you ever attend a night circus show in some distant country, don’t be surprised when you see Lily balancing atop of a wire some fifty feet in the air...She’s never ever fallen.
Lily Fredericks
Christine Hoffman never sleeps. In fact, she hasn’t slept a single minute since her thirteenth birthday. Why is this? For her thirteenth birthday, her great aunt bought her a bag of chocolate covered coffee beans, as a way of celebrating her great-nieces’ arrival into teenhood (which everyone knows is as important as the parallel achievement of reaching adulthood). However, that night Christine started eating those chocolate covered coffee beans, and simply could not stop. She finished that whole big bag, which I suppose explains her perpetual insomnia.
Christine Hoffman
Elizabeth Howlett is like a walking encyclopedia. She knows something about everything. Don’t believe us? Just ask her! She doesn’t like to talk about it, though, because she feels like it’s cheating when it comes to taking tests. It’s not her fault, she can’t help her insane amount of knowledge! Her sister tells us that her abilities are the result of a run-in with a mythical novel as a child...
Elizabeth Howlett
Joel Hyde is a snowflake skater. He has a pair of magical ice skates that shrink him down to a miniscule speck, and he completes the most complicated and wonderful dance routines while gliding through the sky. His spins and tricks are just as beautiful and delicate as the snowflakes themselves. He currently holds the title of the world’s most Supreme Snowflake Skater.
Joel Hyde
We are convinced that Soleil is the next person to be cast for Quicksilver (spoiler alert for Marvel Universe). This is top-secret though because she really does have superspeed. Indulge us with our dare to focus on Soleil one day, and see whether you can spot her quick movements before your very eyes. Chances are no one can for in a flash she creates and brings work to life.
Soleil Kogon
Talis Kroehler has a portal to another dimension in her very own backyard. Don’t believe me? Well, I’ve seen it myself. It is a tall metal doorway engraved with intricate patterns and symbols from another language. This doorway definitely looks out of place between her garden and trampoline, but I would not suspect it to be a portal to another planet. However, upon stepping into the doorway, a bright light consumes you, swirling you away into another dimension. Talis goes through it commonly, partaking in many adventures, and seeing things we could only dream of here on Earth. Oh, and get this, for every hour there, a minute passes by on Earth, so she can disappear for hours and no one will notice.
Talis Kroehler
Ruby Lenhart is a living statue. Well, perhaps living isn’t quite the right word. Animated long ago by a reclusive sorceress who wished for an eternal companion, she began to hunger for adventure and set out from the crumbling stone walls which were all she had ever known. She assimilated into caravans of nomads who trekked across continents, then slipped aboard an ocean liner at the turn of the century which took her to North America. Her timeless poise shall last as long as the marble of her skin.
Ruby Lenhart
Aliyan Muhammad can play every single instrument. He is basically a musical prodigy and has been making music for as long as he can remember. He started small, using his cups as mini drum sets, and worked his way up to the recorder, and then the violin. At this point, he can play practically every instrument (every mainstream one, at least). Now, he’s learning how to play the sitar!
Aliyan Muhammad
Liya Ogbatsion has a voice which rivals that of many songbirds. So much so, that she is the official choirmaster of all the birds in the Shoreline area! A natural early riser, she throws her windows open every morning and lifts her lilting voice to the rising sun, coordinating harmonies with her feathered friends which rouse sleepy students from their slumber. The next time you wake up to the warbling of a goldfinch outside your window, thank Liya for it!
Liya Ogbatsion
Alisa Pokazanyeva is the Keeper of Mysteries. You may wonder why you haven’t heard of this official-sounding title before, but that’s exactly the point. Appointed by the forces of nature, she holds within her infinite knowledge; of the cosmos, of the darkest reaches of the ocean, of where that pair of socks disappeared off to last month. If you come to her seeking answers, expect to be disappointed. But if you wander, you’ll be met with rewards beyond your wildest dreams...
Alisa Pokazanyeva
Marina Rogers raises unicorns. On a small farm near Woodinville, she owns a couple acres where she lets them roam and play in the forest. She has gained the unicorns’ trust and they have shown her their magical powers. Only she knows what the unicorns can do with their horns. Next time you are driving around in Woodinville and see a slight glow in the forest, it might just be Marina’s unicorns.
Marina Rogers
Thea Rowden is secretly a ninja. That’s right. She took martial arts classes as a youngster, and although she’ll tell you that they didn’t last long, she was able to train in secret with a master long after her lessons ended. During her time as a trainee, Thea picked up some pretty lethal skills: While she may come across as one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet, you do NOT want to make her mad (that’s really hard, actually, so you don’t have to worry. Probably).
Thea Rowden
Megan Rudberg is a professional air balloonist. When she isn’t at school or Tattoo, she is in a giant basket waiting to float into the air. She has won many ballooning tournaments and knows the properties of helium and how to keep a helium fire under control. Ask her, and she can describe what clouds taste like.
Megan Rudberg
Natalie Scott is a squid whisperer. She can understand their thoughts, feelings, and ideas just by looking into their bulbous eyes, and has mastered their language of complex clicks and whistles through countless hours spent listening to them undersea. No pincers, no problem for her! If you’re lucky enough, you may happen upon her going for a swim with her tentacled friends when the sea is placid enough. If so, watch from afar--she’s still working on teaching them ink etiquette.
Natalie Scott
Lorelei Starr experiences movies like no other. She has the ability to step inside whichever one she is watching and embody any character of her choosing--a bystander, the funny sidekick, or even the heroine. Annoyed that Han Solo didn’t shoot first? Simply ask her to sidle in, and she’ll make it so! From film noir to animation, documentary to buddy comedy, Lorelei has done it all. There is one downside--movie theater patrons are sometimes confused by her impromptu dialogue changes!
Lorelei Starr
Mason Stewart has a magic eye. Heard of Mad-Eye-Moody? Well, his eye is not quite the same as his, but you get the idea. Mason’s mother is a witch, and a good one too. However, when Mason was six years old, he was snooping around his mom’s room, playing with her magic spellbooks, potions, and herbs, when he got into an accident. His mother, being the talented witch she is, did some magic and fashioned Mason a new glass eye. However, this is no normal eye. A magic eye has magic properties, and Mason’s eye is no different. However, what its magical properties are, is a mystery to all (except to Mason, of course).
Mason Stewart
Madeleine Stolp has a heart of gold--literally. Doctors around the world puzzle over this day and night, but she is perfectly happy with her condition--if it could even be described that way. You see, this heart of gold enables her to be endlessly kind and genuine, and always have a laugh on the tip of her tongue, eagerly waiting to escape at a moment’s notice. Her heart has the same function as any other, but it is that glow filled with strength which separates her from the rest.
Madeleine Stolp
Rebecca Swinney is going to be the next Willy Wonka of seltzer waters. Seriously. Have you ever tried sour cream and onion seltzer? Pumpkin pie? Bubblegum? Honestly, we just made those flavors up. Rebecca’s got some new and top-secret flavors stored away and ready to distribute to the masses...right after they’ve been approved by the FDA.
Rebecca Swinney
Maksim Takhtarev has a very special secret: he can fly. Believe it or not, Maksim is a pro flyer, in fact, he has wings and everything. Okay, I know, if he has wings why haven’t you seen them? Well, this is for a very good reason: Maksim’s wings, a glowing gossamer, only come out at night when the moon is in the sky.
Maksim Takhtarev
Rowan Wasserman can sew. Her sewing abilities are on par with any machine out there, not to mention the fact that she can complete items of clothing faster than any of them. We wonder if she can sew us all some Glamour house-themed costumes before the show using her incredible design talents. What designs will you come up with next, Rowan? Apparently, her designs have been worn by A-list celebrities to the likes of the Oscars and the Grammys, but she won’t tell us who because she’s just way too humble for her own good.
Rowan Wasserman
Rohan Wassink has a collection of postage stamps, but they aren’t just ordinary postage stamps. Sure, your grandpa might collect stamps from Europe, but Rohan’s stamps hail from magical lands that are only accessible to him. No one knows why or how, but Rohan has the ability to breach time and space. He’s made several friends of various species, and keeps small mementos from each place he visits. Whenever a world has a postal service, Rohan makes sure to grab a stamp.